Desperado
by crazytook
Summary: Post-Meat. Jack realized how Torchwood has changed him, and he wants Ianto to help. Spoilers for DW S3, TW eps Meat and Fragments. Pairing: Jack/Ianto


-1Desperado

"Freedom, oh freedom, well that's just some people talking. Your prison is walking through this world all alone." -Desperado by the Eagles.

a/n Ok, so my n key is broke, so most of my ns are not capitalized. I apologize for that. Also, the conversation at the end is a little experiment in how much prose I could leave out, so please let me know how you liked that. Please, please comment. They help me oh so much.

And constructive criticism is more than welcome, it's encouraged. I would also like to apologize to all the gwen-bashers out there. This is so gwen-friendly. I just think that it's cannon, and we all kind of have to deal. But hopefully, this will help make her more tolerable?

Oh, and also, your interpretation of what's going on in this story is also totally welcome I like to know what I've actually succeeded in getting across. Thank you all!!

Jack stared at the defiance in Gwen's eyes. Felt Ianto staring at his back. And he knew then. He knew he had a choice. Either continue with the restraints Torchwood had placed on him for so very long and isolate Gwen from the world just like everyone else, or set her free. Let her be what he hired her for. His connection with the outside world. The world he was trying to save. After all, how do you save a world you're not a part of?

So Jack decided. But, he wasn't at all surprised when he heard the hint of jealousy in his voice as he said, "Give my love to Rhys and I'll see you in the morning."

And with that, he stomped off, automatically catching the bottle of water Ianto threw at him as he stormed into his office. He sat down bitterly and turned the CCTV to watch Gwen and Rhys.

It really wasn't fair. At least a century with Torchwood, and they had always kept him separate, always isolated, always alone. How many times had he had to fake his death? Too many. How often did he have to lie to someone he loved? 21. How many wives had grieved for him when he widowed them too soon? 3. And his children. How many children grew up never really knowing their father? That question, he truly had no answer to. And all because of Torchwood. All because they had trapped him here. Sure, he'd gallivant off on his own, but they kept a short leash on him. Always knew where he was. Always knew what he was doing.

And Gwen. After only one short year at Torchwood. She gets to keep Rhys. Gets to stop lying. Oh, she really didn't know what she was saying when she told Jack he didn't understand. Maybe she was right about the others. But Jack understood. He understood all too well. And it was at that moment of recognition that he realized he had to let Gwen be. He had to break the cycle. He couldn't let Gwen suffer because of what Torchwood did to him.

After all, he needed her. He needed her strength to stay connected to the world. To be able to work at Torchwood and live on Planet Earth. It wasn't an easy job. Suzie had failed miserably at it. But Gwen was stronger than that, and Rhys really seemed to give her some of that strength. So if she needed him, she needed him.

And Jack wouldn't lie. Well, at least not to himself. He had originally hoped Gwen would have saved him. Personally saved him. He had banked on her strength to maybe give him a normal life away from this place. Away from this place of death and destruction and cruelty.

While he'd been away, he'd even pictured white picket fences and perhaps a dog with her.

But having married him would have married her to the job, and she was useless to him then.

She needed Rhys.

And with that epiphany, his fantasies of Gwen changed to fantasies of Ianto .  
Going back to Ianto's flat. Having a home cooked meal. Sleeping in that fantastic King size bed of his, with the super not to hard, not to soft, but just right mattress. Waking up to Ianto's coffee, and not having to wait for Ianto to arrive at the hub to get it. Weevil hunting with Ianto. Saving the world with Ianto.

And then, of course, Ianto's death. And that was when he would flit back to fantasies of Gwen in his head.

"Umm…Excuse me, Sir?" Ianto started, interrupting Jack's thoughts completely.

Jack looked up to see Ianto standing there, a cup of hot liquid in his hand.

"I brought you some herbal tea. I didn't think caffeine was a good idea given the recent circumstances." Ianto said, handing Jack the cup. Jack put his hand on Ianto's as he took the cup from him. Jack held Ianto's hand in his for a few moments, circling his thumb over Ianto's palm. Slowly, he released his hand as Ianto came behind him and proceeded to give him a back massage. Jack simply relaxed into the touch.

"Thanks, Ianto."

"no problem, sir."

"Are you going home soon?"

"Possibly. I was planning on cooking Penne ala Vodka."

"My favorite."

"I know."

The conversation paused slightly until Ianto eventually broke the comfortable silence.

"I was thinking I would watch a movie. I was planning on The X-Files."

Jack laughed, but the smile left on his face didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Ianto, look around you, we are the X-Files. Or an x-file at least. We're the secret government organization, I believe Mr. Mulder was trying to uncover."

"Yes, I know. That's why I liked the show. Always liked the show, actually. Was really into it when I was about 13 or so. That show was very much about escapism for me. Still is."

"Don't you own _Say Anything _or something?"

"80's movies, Sir?"

"I like the 80s."

"I do own that, yes. I don't watch it much, sir. Never really cared for those films. I have to be in a very specific mood."

"Ah."

Silence reigned in the room. The only sounds for the next ten minutes were of Jack appreciating his massage, and Tosh and Owen leaving the hub.

"Ianto, you should go home now. No good in keeping you trapped here."

"Would you care to drive, sir?" Ianto said, holding up a set of keys.

Jack simply looked at Ianto for a second, barely noticeable, but the Welshman had caught the look.

"no good in keeping you trapped here either." Ianto said with a smile.

Jack simply smiled back and caught the keys Ianto tossed him.

As they walked outside, Jack realized he wouldn't have to lie to Ianto, wouldn't have to fake his death and run away from him. He hadn't been forced to do any of those things in quite some time. Things had calmed down around the 80s. While he'd not been allowed to tell others outside of Torchwood, same as everyone else, they had stopped keeping him isolated from the rest of the team. And he'd been running the place for the last 8 years or so now.

He'd had his freedom for a while now. But he still just kept doing what he had always done. What Torchwood had always forced upon him. Voluntarily. He didn't know how to work any other way. Torchwood had succeeded at conditioning him. He'd become his own keeper. By the time they'd let him go a little, he knew it wasn't long until the Doctor came. And then he'd have to leave all over again.

But the Doctor had come and gone now. Jack had left and Jack had come back, and Ianto had stayed with him anyways.

And still, Jack was reluctant. Jack was amazed at his own stubbornness. His own lack of fight. He used to rage against Torchwood. And he'd sworn to the Doctor that Torchwood had changed.

And now, it really had.

And as he got into the driver's seat, with Ianto next to him, he hoped that Ianto had the strength in him to fight against Jack's own self imposed prison.

And as Ianto took his hand, and smiled to him as Jack started the car, he knew Ianto did.

He trusted Ianto to show him how to use his freedom.

Fin


End file.
